In Death
by DefiniteEnding
Summary: Hidan is dead, Kakuzu is dead. The both of them are on the border of life and death, an endless white world, unable to pass on without the other. Hidan reflects on his time with Kakuzu while Kakuzu himself longs for and searches for his partner.


Alright ... So ... I know I haven't updated TWS or WTTB yet, but I SWEAR I'm working on them. I've completed the next chapter for TWS but I need to complete the one after that before I upload it (Don't ask. XD I'm weird and my logic makes no sense.) WTTB is still in the works too. In the meantime, I've been writing lots of oneshots/short stories in order to keep myself from getting writer's block. I wrote seven over the weekend. XDDD Not sure if I should put them all up though ... I dunno. If you guys want them, I'll put them up ^^.

So ... about this here fic: Well, Teamjacob46 gave me an idea again but this time the plot is all mine. LOL She was just like "Why not write angst?" so I did and this was the result. It's really kinda depressing but turns sorta happy at the end. ^^ I took a new approach entirely to this. I tried first person present, rather than first person past like I always do. LOL I hope you enjoy! READ ON!

* * *

I hated you. Right from the start I hated you. It was just the way you looked at me, with such disgust and loathing. Why you would have to loathe me I still don't understand myself, but it wasn't the loathing that bothered me. It was how emotionless your eyes were when they looked at me. How bored you always seemed.

"_Kakuzu, this is your new partner. His name's Hidan."_

_You looked at me and I knew right away we would always hate each other_

"_Just don't get in my way." You said. Well, jee, you could have at least been a bit nicer about it … I scowled at the bored look on your face. Did you even care at all? I doubted it._

I knew I meant nothing to you. But … Even if I mean nothing to you, why did you still try so hard? Why did you protect me, and give me helpful advice?

_After only a month, you finally seemed to be warming up to me. I had been willing to accept you from the start, but you were always so cold and distanced. Are you ever going to tell me why that is? Nevermind. It doesn't matter._

_You didn't speak much so when you did, I always took your words seriously. I made it seem like I didn't care, but I really did … So when you said, "be careful." I really thought you wanted me to be careful. When you said, "watch your back," I really thought you wanted me to watch my back._

_And when you said, "it's not like you have to fight alone …" did you really mean it? Did you really just tell me you'd protect me?  
_

Why, Kakuzu? Why did you almost die for me that one time?

_It was horrific. You just moved. I could tell by how unsteady you were that you put no thought behind the action and you just … moved. Why? I'm immortal, you idiot! I wouldn't have been killed!_

_I could tell you were in pain even as you practically lopped off the head of that person. "Kakuzu, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled at you. I yelled, and you didn't get mad. Instead you turned your head to look at me._

"_Are you alright?" You asked._

"_I'm fine, you asshole!" I screamed but it was really because I was terrified. I didn't know at the time that you had five hearts. I thought you were really going to die right in front of me._

_I could see the sword jutting out of your back, dangerously close to where your heart was. But you smiled for the first time and I saw your eyes slowly closing._

You said … some really weird things to me after that. And I'm not quite sure I'm ready to understand them …

_You were finally starting to wake up but I pushed you back down when you tried to sit up, telling you you couldn't get up yet. I didn't know you were actually fully healed already. But for whatever reason you just complied and didn't bother to push me off._

"_Hidan … What happened?" You asked. Your voice was quiet but not strained._

"_I slaughtered them all …" Was my reply as I watched you carefully. I really expected you to just drop dead in an instant._

"_You're not hurt, are you?"_

"_No … But you-"_

"_Good. I don't know what I'd do with myself if something had happened to you."_

_What?_

"_Kakuzu-"_

"_You don't have to do everything alone, you know?"_

"_But I-"_

"_I don't want to see you die in front of me."_

"_But you-"_

"_Please, Hidan … Try to understand."_

_I went silent, confused by your words and not really understanding. But I nodded and just got up to go take a walk. I needed to clear my head and I thought you were a little confused yourself and needed to sort yourself out._

_But when I came back, you refused to speak of it. _

But why do you seem to mean something to me? Despite myself, I'm always worrying for you.

"_Kakuzu, are you okay?"_

"_Fine."_

_I know you aren't, you liar. You've been distracted the entire day and all you've done is sit there in that chair. You weren't even counting your money!_

"_I don't think you are-"_

"_Drop it, Hidan."_

_You said it so threateningly … But even though you were being hostile, I was still worried for you … Can't you see I care?_

You think you're so strong; you thinks you're invincible. If that's true, Kakuzu, then why are you dead now?

_I was lying in several pieces at the bottom of a pit. I couldn't see daylight anymore. I was furious with that bratty shadow kid for doing this to me and I was raging angrily._

_It felt like a brick wall hit me. I can't explain it better than that. I didn't even have to think or guess. I knew you were dead. Why? What happened? I thought you were invincible …_

_How could you leave me, Kakuzu?_

You know what's funny, Kakuzu? You knew it was going to end up this way. I know you did. It was just the way you smiled at me before I was led off by that shadow kid.

"_Be careful, Hidan …" You said, not turning to look at me._

_I blinked in surprise and my head turned sharply to look at you. What were you saying? They're jut kids! They can't beat us! Do you … think they can, Kakuzu? Do you really think they can?_

_Something's wrong with you …_

"_I'll meet up with you later." You said and finally turned to me. The way your eyes softened upon seeing me, the smile that I was sure was under your mask ... Yes, something was wrong with you._

_You're scaring me, Kakuzu …_

Even behind your mask, I can always tell when you're smiling at me. You seemed to have been doing a lot of it, but I never told you. I never told you that I cared. I figured you would just laugh at me …

_It was like a regular day at the base. We'd just gotten back from a mission and I could feel you watching me the whole way. Whenever I glanced back, you never seemed to notice but I could tell you were smiling._

_It was cute, you know?_

_You never showed much emotion and your mask always covered it up._

"_Hey, Kakuzu?" I said from the bed where I was sitting._

"_Hmm?" You questioned from where you were counting money like you usually did._

_But I froze up. I suddenly knew I couldn't tell you. It was just impossible. You would just laugh …_

"_Nevermind." I said quickly and fell onto my back on the bed, turning so my back was to you. You never questioned but I heard you chuckle as if you knew …_

Kakuzu … I don't want to be dead. I don't want to go to Hell. I don't want to be separated from you!

.:~:.

Hidan … where are you?

I'm in a strangely white world. Is this what the afterlife looks like? Nothing but an empty, white space? No. I felt like I wasn't quite there yet. Somewhere in between, maybe? On the border?

Did you go to Heaven, Hidan? No, you've sinned too much to go to Heaven. Hell? If so, I wonder if I'll ever meet you there … God, I miss you ...

Hey, what's that? There's ... a dark shape in the mist of this white world. Who is it?

.:~:.

I'm scared, and I'm not afraid to admit it. This place isn't Heaven or Hell. I didn't even know it existed. Am I doomed to stay here forever, all alone? Kakuzu … I want to be with you! I … I never told you …

.:~:.

The figure … it's … It can't be!

.:~:.

I just ran into something, or something ran into me; I can't tell. But it's solid, the only thing with mass in this place. I can't even look up as my arms shoot up and clung to the fabric of the shirt on the body before me.

Wait, body?

Oh, screw it! I don't care who it is! Someone is better than no one. If only the person I was currently holding onto was you, Kakuzu … then I would be happy. I'm still scared, I don't know what's going on. I feel disoriented and broken, like a piece of me is missing.

That piece …

Kakuzu …

It's you …

.:~:.

"Hidan …" I found myself saying as you clung to me like I was your last salvation. "Hidan, shh … Don't cry …" But I don't blame you. There seemed to be no time in this place, and everything was painfully white. There was no shape, no color.

Nothing.

The only thing that even has a form was you, still clinging to me and crying into my chest. I don't think you even realize who you're holding onto. You seem confused and very unaware of what's going on around you.

But I'm here, Hidan. I'm here … I'll hold you forever if I have to … Nothing will ever separate us again …

.:~:.

The only solid thing was moving away from me. I tried to follow it, not entirely sure of my own sanity. But I stopped when something grabbed my chin and turned my head to look upwards.

My eyes finally seemed to focus and what I saw made me stop breathing. Had I even been breathing in the first place, anyway? "K-Kuzu …" I whispered, feeling more tears roll down my cheeks.

You're smiling that beautiful smile at me. Despite my fear, I'm smiling back at him. "You … you're here!"

You nodded and for the first time, I don't see that mocking look in your eyes. For the first time, your eyes hold a different emotion. I'm surprised that they're even holding any emotion at all. It doesn't happen often.

I smile wider as I recognize exactly what you're feeling.

I feel it too, Kakuzu …

.:~:.

I didn't think as I leaned down to you and kissed you.

For the first time.

I felt your lips quiver. You sobbed once before kissing back. I know this must be hard for you. It's too bad we were too stupid to realize this back when we were alive …

Below us, a path is forming. We're standing on it. My eyes follow the path and it seems to lead to a golden gate. Hidan, look! You look up and I can see the smile on your face. You realize it too, don't you?

Heaven.

We're going to Heaven …


End file.
